Now is Eternal

March 27, 2017/in: Family, Uncategorized/0 /4 Comments

Lately, I’ve been feeling emotional about my boys growing up. Time itself seems to be speeding by at a pace that feels uncomfortable to me. This amplified feeling of time speeding up has been brought about by me preparing for the fact that my oldest son will be entering into kindergarten this coming fall. I feel amazingly blessed by the fact that I have two healthy children that are growing and thriving. Yet the speed at which they are growing and changing is a bit hard for me to wrap my mind and heart around some days. Currently my boys are ages 2 and almost 5. Even at their still tender ages, I’ve been able to see them both go through so many changes and stages in just the short years they’ve been here. Life is so remarkable in this way. And while I find each stage to be precious and sacred, I find myself cautiously anticipating the next stage because I know that means that the people I currently know will inevitably be different in some ways or in lots of ways.

At times I’ll admit that I’ve had phases when I’ve found myself wishing we were in the next stage already, (as if the next stage will somehow provide more ease). Lately though I’ve been in a state of almost pre-mourning the loss of the current stage and the people they currently are while I’m still in it. Does that sound familiar to any parents out there? I’ve come to realize that neither of those ways of thinking are grounded in the present and both cause a sort of heart suffering feeling. I’ve discovered that when I can break away from the mind chatter and anticipation of what has not yet come to be, I then have the opportunity to be in the present in all its tangible glory. That’s when I’m here! When I allow myself to be in the now, that’s when none of the anticipation of loss or transition to one phase to the next matters because I have now and now is wonderful and they are wonderful NOW!

When I am in the now, I can truly marvel at every aspect of my children and the time we’re sharing. And when now becomes then (in the future), I won’t feel like I need to mourn the loss of the time I had with my 2 year old and 5 year old because I fully had them. I was fully and truly there. I was present then and I am present now too. Being in the now affords the ability to actually absorb every aspect of the moment and all the gifts and vibrancy that’s in the moment. When we allow ourselves to be fully in the moment with grateful open hearts, we need not mourn any loss of any moment in our lives. Because one of the gifts that being fully present offers is a full and complete ownership of our experience here. When we fully are in the moment, the moment becomes eternal. When we tap into the fact that now is eternal then nothing is ever past or present it just IS. Is always is. How’s that for a mind conundrum?

The trouble and suffering happens when we take ourselves out of the moment with either thought distractions or some other distractions. When we do that then the moment is lost on us and can’t be gotten back. The best thing we can do to lesson our suffering and enhance our life experience is to surrender to the moment by resisting distractions. Thoughts are distractions and so are other needless activities like scrolling through our phone or needlessly busying ourselves for the sake of mental escape. These needless distractions take us away from the blessings of what has been placed right in front of us. The power lays in the acknowledgment that where we are placed in any given moment is perfectly where we need to be. When we choose to commit over and over again to really be in the present, then our life becomes more rich and vibrant than we could possibly imagine. Committing to the present allows each moment to in essence last forever in our heart space because we’ve created an energetic ownership by fully being there for it. We own what we’ve really experienced. So dive into each moment in all it’s messy beautiful glory. And benefit from a life full of heart blessings that you own forever and that truly never go away. That’s what I plan to do. I plan to choose the now over and over again. Because life is too precious and blessed to not allow ourselves to fully receive every delicious drop of it.

Many blessings to you & yours,

The Magic & The Mess // Macy’s

August 25, 2016/in: Family/0 /Leave a Comment

My husband and I had plans to go to a fancy dinner in a few week and I had purchased a new hot mama dress for the occasion. The dress was pretty fitted so I needed some topnotch undergarments for under my dress. I decided to take the boys to Macy’s with me to try on some bra and shape wear options. We got to Macy’s. I found some contenders and then headed to the dressing room with the boys in tow. At first everything was great. Colin was standing there patiently and Asher was content in the umbrella stroller. So I start to make my way through the pile of options. Then Asher started to become fussy in the stroller, so I unstrapped him and let him out. All was well and calm for a few minutes. Then Asher decided to duck under the raised wall of the dressing room and high tail it down the hall. Both boys were cracking up. I thankfully caught up to him before he got to the entry of the dressing room area. Also thankfully I had my sundress on at the time. We returned back to the dressing room. Both boys were very tickled by this incident. Colin started egging on Asher to do it again. Asher then does it two more times and I have to run after him each time. I had one more bra to try on. I was standing in front of the raised part of the wall in an effort to block Asher from darting out again. Unfortunately he weaseled past me and went running down the dressing room hallway. This time I was only in my bra and unders. I flung open the door and went chasing after him. He was really moving this time and ran clear out of the dressing room. I caught up with him right as he was entering the store area. I grabbed him up and hung my head as I ran bare assed in my thong thong thong thong thong back to the dressing room. Meanwhile the boys were beside themselves with laughter……. Good Times. Good Times.

The Mess:

The super difficult mall shopping experience. Ahh yes, I remember the days when I could just stroll through the mall with peace and ease. And let’s not forget my complete indecent exposure in Macy’s.

The Magic:

The pure joyful laughter ringing from my two precious boys. The shear love and partnership they have cultivated between them is heartwarming. They are true partners in crime.

The Magic & The Mess // Mr. Ribbit

August 12, 2016/in: The Magic & The Mess/2 /2 Comments

Colin woke up on this particular day in an emotionally charged and irrational mood. We hadn’t even had breakfast yet when he started a melt down. I thought to myself ‘oh goodness this might be a long day’. Then I shifted my thoughts to a prayer for help and a confidence that ‘no this is going to be a good day!’. I took a deep breath and made breakfast. Breakfast was hard and he hardly ate any of it. After breakfast, we went outside for some fresh air. I was hopeful that nature could shift his mood. But he was still unsatisfied with anything about the morning. The boys were both playing with something in the yard so I walked over to the hose to water the garden. I started to remove the hose from the hose box and noticed something move from inside the box. I suspected it was a lizard, which Colin loves. I decided to lift the box and found a little toad staring back at me. I called over to Colin “a frog, a frog!”. He excitedly ran over. He gently caught the frog and put it in his bug collector. Then we made a large habitat for it to hop around in. He was so ecstatic and in love with his new little reptile friend. He named him Mr. Ribbit. His mood took a complete 180! Then I remembered that just 45 minutes prior I had prayed for help and made a positive affirmation that we were going to have a good day. I realized then that this frog was divinely given to us. This frog was an answered prayer! This little angel frog shifted our day into an entirely new and positive direction. We kept the frog for about an hour of blissful boy fun. Then we had a conversation about how the frog wanted to be free. We talked about how it was best for him to go about his life in the wild of our backyard rather than in captivity. There was some sadness in letting him go. But the happiness that Mr. Ribbit brought lingered the rest of the day.

The Mess // Our difficult highly emotional morning.

The Magic // The angel that was sent to us in the form of a little brown toad.